Here in the real world

So last night I was up late playing on the internet when I probably should have been working and decided to look at blogs instead. I went to one of my good friends Volree’s blog who has an absolutely adorable almost 6 month old boy. Anyways I clicked on a link she had posted of a friend of a friend’s blog http://laylagrace.org/ and read basically months worth of blogging by these parents whose child was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma at 16 months, needless to say I was sobbing by the end. (Of course my phone rings as I’m finishing it and it was a good friend A.A. that I had been meaning to call so I answered and then had explain why I was crying so hard.) That always happens to me, I’m not exactly the crying type but I swear my phone rings every time I do…Now on to the point of my post. I sent Volree an email this morning Thanking her. Thanking her for providing me with something to put my life in prospective. Yes I think we all have our ups and downs and everyone is entitled to their own pity party bc though there are people out there with bigger problems I don’t think you should belittle your own. But I have been in a funk for some time now, to the point that I am even sick of listening to myself talk about it. Here is the email I sent:

Puffy Eyes

Whole reason why I wrote is…to say Thank You. I have been feeling so blah and stressed and uneasy and restless the last few weeks being discontent, wondering what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life, where I’m supposed to live, thinking about getting a roommate or just selling my house, thinking to myself is this just the winter blues, will I snap out of this as soon as summer comes or am I ready for a change? Then I read about these parents who are watching their innocent child painfully slip away who are constantly praising God for having her in the first place and thought who am I to complain. I prayed last night for them (for what felt like hours) please God give them peace and understanding in a time when they feel like they will never understand, comfort them with your love and grace and assurance that their child is Yours, as we all are, who will end up where she belongs with her heavenly Father. Yes I still woke up this morning with puffy eyes but I think that praying for them gave me peace about what is going on in my life. I am going to be thankful for options instead of scared of change and excited about new beginnings knowing that even though we don’t always understand why things happen that there is a plan and a purpose for all of us…so Thanks again! Amanda

I know that this blog is usually about uplifting letters from Dad filled with advice on being successful and keeping your head up during tough times but reality is sometimes life sucks*. And we can focus on the stuff that sucks: annoying people at work that you have to be nice to even though they don’t deserve it, dogs that pee on the rug at the door right when you’re about to take them out, your taxes and insurance going up the same month, the economy, missing relatives and friends, sick kids, people that run puppy mills, I could go on forever. Or I (I mean we) could be thankful for: having a job, my health, two dogs that can provide enough heat for me to be able to turn mine off at night, good books, baseball/beach season right around the corner, friends and family that are only a phone call away that continue to answer even though all I’ve done for the past two weeks (possibly seems like three years) is bi*ch and moan, and finally today the sun shining.

*yes I was raised better than to say sucks, my mom hates that word but for some reason sucks just works better for me than stinks, sorry mom